When my girlfriend cooks, everything tastes like shit, so I almost always feed it to the dog
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When I wash the jerseys from the football team, I have to sniff them beforehand, which is like a drug for me.
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I left the house and didn't realize I was still wearing slippers
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At a party I had to vomit while kissing, it was embarrassing
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I fell off my horse while riding with several people.
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I've been taking laxatives to avoid going out
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I wanted to bathe my dog and since he was wriggling, I fell into the tub too
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According to my ID, I still live with my parents. I don't do it because i don't want to pay for Basic TV
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I constantly claim that strangers have a critter on their back, which I pat down on them just because I like touching strangers' backs.
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Not gonna lie, been living in London for nearly a year now and finding it hard to find anyone to even go on a second date let alone do anything fun with. Usually get ghosted after the first date. I don't even think anything goes wrong on the date they just ghost me afterwards and it's getting really depressing
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Proud of my first cake, I was going to carry it to my visitor's table and slipped halfway.
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I don't love my boyfriend but am dating him because he always gives me great gifts
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